today was a good day~
my friend oupsss returned from Spain and I met with her today~ I was sooo happy *^-^*

and I got my late-Christmas-gift from oupsss and shizu_yamano . It's amazing~! just look:

snow fell...
so I decided to change my layout for sth more... bright ^^ .
we have New Year now and I'm still confused 'bout lots of things~
but I believe everything gonna be alright~
Johnny Deep is watching me from my wall (thanks Light~) and I'm still waiting for my Big Bang's calendar~ hope it'll come soon~

few minutes after midnight.
from these few minutes I'm an adult.
magic 18th? I doubt it.
I want to be a child forever~!  I don't wanna be old~!

can't help it (>__>)

hope today will be a nice day...

*another day among English people*
England is so weird.

for a really long time I feel bored. I don't know what I should do with myself...
for last two months I had so much to learn that I didn't have time to think. and now... I don't know what to do. I'm only thinking if I have sth to learn.
I'm going crazy~! xp

saturday evening.
I should sit and learn but I don't wanna xp
I think I would play a little with photoshop~!

*addicted to music* *addicted to korean boysbands* *addicted to chocolate* *addicted to... many things*
only this keeps me alive. my addictions.
I have to take care about lots of things. It's a little depressing and... sad.
I want to live happy life.
Have to try hard.
I guess I'll try.
'Cause I have nothing to lose.

learning
learning
...
and I hoped that new year would be better.

*waiting for party*

in last few days I realized that people are really two-faced. They are gossiping about each other behind their backs. They show reality in the way they want it to looks. They're lying. Betraying. Gossiping. And then they said that I do all these things. They're just hypocrites.
and I'm laughing. Laughing hard. And I just can't stop. They betrayed me. I used to call them friends. I used to trust them. But now I know I shouldn't. I don't want to know them anymore. I don't want to see them. I don't want to talk with them.
The funniest thing is these situation. And I don't care how it looks. I don't care what they think about me. But I know that they're taking it serious. And it's even funnier.
it's not complaint. I just want to remember. I don't want to forget.
today was good day. I watched movies with my roommates. I rested. And I don't need them anymore. But I'm really curious how long their circle will survive 'cause they're falling and falling deeper and deeper.

Gaze's live seems to be so long time ago. And it was around two weeks ago. It was really great but...
For this moment my life sucks. Gods, it's so despairing and hopeless.
Nothing in my life looks good. Okey, I'm quite pretty but I feel stupid among my classmates. I feel stupid when I look at my school. I feel like I'm not suited to this place. Now I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing in my class. Day by day I'm more and more certain of that I'm not humanist.
I don't have strength to sit and learn. I'm just tired. I don't want to learn Chemistry (it's stupid), Polish (it's just full of bullshits) or History (no matter what I'll write, it won't be good). And where I should find power to work hard? All that "gambatte" "you can make it" sounds abstractly. It's not making any sense for me. Just hopeless phrases...

today I'm going to Katowice. Then to airport. And... welcome London! On Saturday - gig~! Gods, after all this week I'm so mentally tired that I can't be enough happy. I should be dancing from happiness. I should smile all the time. But I can't.
Ah, I hope Gazette won't disappoint me. I believe they won't. see you soon~!

I'm addicted to asian boysbands. Especially japanese xD. And I don't know why I have extraordinary good mood. And it makes me happy xD. I just want to live and smile and be happy...
...or maybe I just eat too much chocolate xP.

gods... life is so tiring... school is even much tiring...
I'd give much much for ten hours of good sleep... impossible.
but one thing keeps me alive for a moment. In Saturday BAKA takes place in Wroclaw. ureshii-yo~!
and... the Gazette in London on the 27th of October... Still 23 days left~!

sometimes I feel like a doll. sitting. watching.
sometimes I just don't care what's going on around me. apathy.
sometimes... I want to be a doll. just sit. watch. don't care. don't have to decide.
oh! how easy it would be?
sometimes I want to close myself in my own reality.
I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm bored.
and I want a job. I'm even searching a lot but I found only crap >.<". just because I don't have eightteen...
it's so damn difficult.
the Gazette is coming back to Europe. and I need money. and I don't have it.
shit.

and stacked rubbish is f*cking good.

Making this layout took me 2hrs. And I know that something won't be working. Never mind.
Tomorrow I have test from European education and I don't know anything. I should learn a little. So... I'm going.
Soon I should write something.

I just returned from integration trip and I'm damn tired. Today we were in Prague for 4 hrs. Yeah, 4 hrs of running around Prague. Blah! We should have more time! Prague is too big and too pretty to watch everything in this short amount of time >.< Yesterday we also have the camp-fire and some of us started to make choreography to some old Polish song (that song was about one night with Renata or something like that). Oh, jRock-gods, people in my class are amazing! I really had a lot of luck in this year. And btw, tomorrow I have ordinary lessons. Yeah, History, prof. Kiniorski and his massacre. I don't wanna >.>!

and about Standing Live Tour 2006 Nameless Liberty Six Guns I have only one thing to say: "Aoiiii..."

Yesterday I left hospital in Zawiercie (hole in Jura Krakowsko-Częstochowska). I got *search in dictionary* ...something like... food poisoning. It was really annoying. In last day of my tennis camp I got sick and stuff and then chief of our camp called for ambulance and they took me to the hospital. And I just hate things like drips >_<. My poor veins.
But I'm happy now because when I arrived in home I found laptop on my desk. Finally! I'll also have internet in my dormitory. So... I'm kinda relieved.